Feeling by myself


I always thought it made me special, that I could feel things so acutely, that I was always feeling something and even when there was nothing I could feel the nothingness. I thought it made me unique, different, better even but what I didn’t know is that it would make me feel so very confused. Confused that no one else felt the way I did, that there wasn’t always an emotion attached to everything, that I had confused my personality into theirs, that I had tried to make them in my mind into something like me because I was so tired of feeling by myself.
It complicated everything, I did everything not because I wanted to but because I thought it was what everyone else wanted me to… just so I could feel the way they did and I wouldn’t be feeling by myself anymore.
So, now I can’t tell what I want from what I think everyone wants me to want

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