So I was talking to a friend of mine who asked me to write bout what inspires me to do what I do and all that so…imma tell y’all my secret.
Yea, that’s where I get my inspiration, my very very deep well of unfathomable sadness and depression. Its amazing really. I get these mood swings #Cancer sha my mood swings come so suddenly that I could just change in the middle of a conversation, I’d start saying shit like:
‘What’s the point? We’re all gon die anyway’
‘Why do I care, I’m probably going to die painfully and horribly’
‘You know what’d be nice? If I die’
‘Do you know, right at this moment…something horribly painful is happening to someone’s child as they watch?’
Yes, I actually say shit like that, don’t judge me! I can’t help it and don’t worry, I’m not suicidal….I think.
Then I just sit in the dark and stare at the wall…I know, creepy.
I mentioned my….moods in an earlier post “lullaby” and if you already know me, you should be used to it by now but if you’re new in my life….Hi! I may or may not be mentally ill and/or crazy!!! 😀
So when I’m in this crazy mood I sometimes find the inner strength to do something other than mope which is write sad stuff….like my stories, the normal blog posts I do when I’m sane. If you’ve read any of my work ‘the darkness’ ‘2052’ ‘alone’ ‘fire and forever’ and the rest that I can’t remember you’ll see that its the same dark, twisted theme in all of them; sadness, hopelessness, death etc etc
So yea…I’m a weirdo that gets her inspiration from her pain, what good are you making of yours?