i sat in Miss Pauline; the principal’s office next to my mum listening to her analyzing the situation. For some reason, Miss pauline loved me maybe it was because of the extra funding the school received for educating a nut job.
‘from what i saw in the bathroom, obviously Tracy got provoked and lost control to her alter ego…’
‘Tanya’ i whispered ‘her name is Tanya, she doesn’t like to be called anything else’
‘Tracy, you shouldn’t let her control you or make you afraid of her. she’s you’
i nodded and muttered ‘now she is’ under my breath
Somehow, i got off the hook. Blondie’s parents wanted to sue but backed off when they were informed about ‘my alter ego’ but blondie herself…she became the victim and the following day and a few broadcast messages later. Everyone knew me as the crazy girl that pulled out Brianna’s (thats blondie) hair and gave Abigail all those bruises.
Walking to my locker was a nightmare; the stares, the whispers, the laughter. Less was there as usual, she hurried to me and cradled me ‘come here’ she whispered in my ear and took me to the same bathroom.
‘Are you okay girl?’ she asked as she jumped and crouched to check if all the stalls were empty.
‘I’m fine’ i said with a smile
she looked at me curiously and started walking around me in a circle, examining me.
‘What’s wrong with you? you just said that with your voice and tanya’s smile, have you been taking your meds?’
i ran my hand through my brown curls ‘No i haven’t, but i’m fine, i don’t need them’
she nodded, ‘we should get our stuff before the bell rings’
‘she’s afraid…of us’ tanya, who was now inside my head said
‘no’ i countered ‘she’s afraid for me.
i got to homeroom before the bell rang so it was empty, Leslie stayed back to talk to some Nick boy, good to know my social downslide isn’t having much of an effect on hers. The bell rang and as the class filled up, i noticed the emos sat around me, they had apparently just invited me to be one of them. i smiled.
Lunch, i took my tray and walked right past the emos and went to sit with leslie and Nick and his other friend Jake or James or some other J name. i couldn’t sit with the emos, i’m not one of them, but i don’t belong here either.